The Fault In Our Stars

DISCLAIMER: I am discussing the book, The Fault In Our Stars, so if you haven't read it yet, it's probably not a good idea to read this post. The story itself was decent, but it was too "story book romantic" where every date was perfect and of course they fell in love. And I mean Amsterdam, really? (Anyone else noticed they did the dance of life the same night they had their first kiss?) After they got back from Amsterdam however, I felt like how the story was told got weird. It seemed more like Hazel was kinda narrating what was going on instead of you actually reading the story as it happened, except a few times like when they were playing video games and his nephews were running around and stuff. I felt this narrative-like description up until Augustus's prefuneral and after that. I kind of knew something was going to happen like one of them died and they were in love and all that sad stuff though, but I wasn't sure how it would happen. I think Augustus's personality made it harder though (I mean he planned his own funeral for goodness sake). The ending really tied up lose ends though, and it was almost a "happy" ending that Hazel got to read the ending Gus wrote for her and that she decided she was happy with her decisions. There wasn't really anything that made it spectacular for me though, although I really enjoyed all the philosophical insight about how the universe wants to be noticed and all that, and I also enjoyed the sassiness of the characters. Overall a good book, but not something I would reread.  

Don't forget to watch

You can tell a lot about a person by how they eat their food.

If they like it piping hot and right out of the oven, they probably have a hot temper and like to fight.

They eat really slowly, then they are probably mellow and take their time to analyze the situation.

They don't like their food to touch, then they like to plan things out and enjoy order.

You wouldn't think it, but peoples' subconscious actions can tell a lot about who they are. It's kind of strange how that happens though; how can someone express their personality by doing something as primitive as eating food? On a side note, how is it that other people can be so ignorant as to ignore someone exhibit their personality through the small actions they do? People can pretend to be as secretive about their personalities as they want to be, but their subconscious will always show the truth. So maybe if people were more observant and not so obsessive about their own lives, they would create better friendships and make more friends. It's the observant that always win.

Prepared or not?

Today my mom and I started to put together my graduation announcements. Putting my name card in each slot thing, adding in each picture, throwing in a graduation party invite, and hand addressing each and every one of them (it's a good thing I do that at work mostly every day or I may have suffered more than I did). I asked my mom if she was going to cry and she snapped at me because she almost did. While sitting there though, I realized how anticlimactic this all seemed to me. AP tests in two weeks, eh. Graduation in a month and a half, that's kinda cool. College orientation the next week, yeah that sounds fun. Basically my entire life before this has been leading up to graduating high schoo. It's almost here, within spitting distance (if you're good), and it doesn't seem more than just a big party. Even college doesn't seem so scary anymore to me, but that's probably a good thing. A momentary thing too. Maybe it's because AACT has made me so completely prepared for the next step, or maybe it's because of another reason that is beyond by control, but I'm glad it has come down to this. I would rather be completely prepared and confident about my future than hiding in the corner, playing solitaire in the darkness.

Heart of Darkness

The other day in English class, our teacher was discussing Heart of Darkness. He said that basically the entire point of the book is to understand the ambiguity (ironic) and all the juxtapositions. Basically HOW the book was written, and not what it is about. Right when he said that I knew I was in deep mud because I barely understood what it was about, and barely had any idea about how it was written (besides super difficultly and complicated enough so I don't know what's going on). I don't notice the majority of what he talks about the next day in class, and just confuse myself even more when I try to look for them when I read the next couple pages. I really hope Heart of Darkness isn't a pivotal book in my life, because I would be in trouble if it was. I'm really relying on the other books I've read for the AP test, because I don't understand what is happening.

Hunger Games trilogy

I'm not sick I swear. 2,761 pages in 35 hours is not crazy. Six books over spring break is completely normal, I'm sure of it.

DISCLAIMER: I will be discussing the Hunger Games so if you haven't read them yet, then I advise against reading this post. Aside from reading the Divergent series, I also started and finished the Hunger Games series, and let me be the first to say, I was rather disappointed. I really did enjoy the first book, but it all went downhill from there. It may have been because I just finished the Divergent series though, and I completely fell in love with that one. The first book doesn't hesitate to get right into the thick of things, and I really enjoyed the author's creativity with the torture and styles, but the descriptions left nothing to imagination, and I could basically predict the entire book, and no, I haven't seen either of the movies. The second book, however, I couldn't predict at all, although I'm not really sure I could describe what happened to someone if they asked, spare the ending. The third book was kinda the same thing, but the epilogue really had a lot of meaning, which helped. Peeta really threw me off guard, and I think he, along with Katniss, was one of my favorite characters. I never really knew what he was going to say, and enjoyed everything he said. Although Katniss was extremely stubborn, I really liked her sass and passion. I liked Gale too, but I think that's because I felt bad for him for loving Katniss when she couldn't decide who she liked. I enjoyed how the author played the tragic love triangle throughout the whole series though. Overall, I wasn't as impressed as I expected, considering everyone's reactions. I felt like I was completely in the story and running with the characters while reading Divergent, but like I was barely skipping the surface while reading the Hunger Games. Even when they referenced the Games Katniss and Peeta participated in later in the series, I barely remembered what happened or felt the emotion. I feel almost cruel comparing The Hunger Games to Divergent, but that's just where my mind always wandered when I wasn't paying attention to what I was reading.

Divergent trilogy

DISCLAIMER: there may be some spoilers in this post. The Saturday that we went on spring break I went to the movies and watched Divergent (the new IMAX theater in sparks is MAGESTIC by the way). After I saw it, I was hooked. I bough the books and read the entire trilogy in a weekend. The first movie didn't completely follow the book, but it was still a great movie and I was still very pleased with the way they made it. The second book is super crazy intense and I think it's my favorite book in the trilogy. Not only does it have LOADS of action, but it makes it seem realistic because of the romance and relationship drama. Some of the fights pain me internally because I fell in love with the characters, though. But the book subtlety focuses on feminism and how strong women are. The third book however, made me want to scream and throw the book at the wall and cry my eyes out (most of which I did). It completely unearths the idea of the first two books, it is super harsh, and the new characters are horribly mean people without realizing it. I was dying the entire time I was reading it, especially at the end. (SPOILER ALERT I felt like the death was super sudden and rather anticlimactic, even if I totally knew it was coming. I died and cried until the end of the book. Tobias broke my heart because I loved them so much). Honestly, life would be completely content if you didn't even bother to read the last one. It was a good book, yes, but I have completely mixed emotions about it. I hate that basically everyone died and that the people that lived had to live their lives without them. It broke my heart, but I guess that's how you know it was a good book; because I was so emotionally invested in it. The epilogue is really touching and really meaningful, but I still hate the ending. I am very excited for the next couple movies to come out so I can see how the directors do it. Overall a very good series and I highly recommend it. (I tried to be as vauge as possible so people don't necessarily know who my spoilers are about)

Handmaid's Tale

For English class, we had to read a book and choose between either The Handmaid's Tale, 1984, or another one I don't remember, and I chose The Handmaid's Tale. I was surprised about how interesting it actually was to me, and even more surprised how much I felt I related to it, considering what it's about. On the surface you probably think I'm crazy, but if you strip away their situation and look at what they are actually dealing with, you realize how relatable it is. It has a lot about women suppression and the human desire to feel loved. I also think the way the author writes it speaks to me; I believe she writes super similarly to how I would (although I'm no where near as good as expressing my intricate thoughts as she is), especially how she addresses the reader as a real person in chapter 41 (or maybe it was 40, I read both today). Off my high horse, I also relate because I am a woman, the gender which most of the story revolve around. I once read somewhere that the way to be a good writer is to write a story that everyone can relate to, and I feel as if The Handmaid's Tale really exemplifies this thought. Heck, I even tweet about enjoying it, and that's saying quite a bit.

The little things.

HEY LET'S USE A CLICHE IN MY BLOG POST FOR AP ENGLISH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA HUH? Oh well, #yolo #nocares

However, compulsive thoughts aside, today I really did realize it is the little things in life that mean the most. Now hang in with me, I'm going somewhere with this. Today I went shopping with some friends, and we went into Victoria's Secret. I'll save you the gory details, but I ended up getting a few pairs of nice underwear (maybe not ALL the gory details. NOW THE WHOLE INTEWEB KNOWS I HAVE NEW UNDERWEAR WOOT). I tried them on, and they are literally the comfiest, silkiest, and most self-esteem lifting things I have ever owned. Never before have I thought that a few items can have this much of an impact on my mood before. Later tonight though, my dad came home and we fought about the hours I am thinking about working over the summer since I have no school. I said I was still just going to work half the day, but I hadn't yet decided if I wanted to do the morning four hours, or the afternoon four. He got angry (like he always does) and said "Well why don't you just work all day?" and I said (being the sassy little teenager who likes to argue with their parents that I am) "Because working full days makes me want to DIE." He yelled and asked what I was going to do for money, and I said I barely ever spend it anyways (kind of) and he got even angrier and asked about what I was going to do when I got into college for money, and then I snapped. I assertively said "You know dad, not the entire world revolves around money. What's the point of being rich if I want to die every other day?" and he said, even angrier "The world DOES revolve around money. How will you live?" and I snapped back "I'll just be a hobo." Needless to say, that was the end of that conversation. Afterwards though, I started thinking about how comfortable my new underwear was again, and then it lead me to think about the little things and how they really are the most important things. Things like soft new underwear that makes you feel good about yourself, or a hot cup of diabetes tea (my specialty, I'll give you the stroke-inducing recipe at your discretion), or even video games, if you're into that. I understand the fact that yes, the world technically DOES revolve around money and you couldn't get those things without it, but money isn't they most important thing in the world. I didn't even care about how much money I had in my bank when I put on my new underwear. I didn't even think about getting my paycheck when I was strutting around my room in them. I didn't even think about buying gas or paying bills or how I would pay for college when I was folding them in my drawers (bah-dum-tiss). The little things that happened today, whether it was the fancy underwear, spending time with my friends, or crying in Ag class because we were laughing so hard, are going to be the things I remember in a few years, and not how much money I actually did spend today (Hello, my name is not allowed to be on the internet because of my English teacher, and I am a shopaholic). Stop worrying so much about how much money you have, and start thinking about your silky new underwear. But not mine, because that would be weird, even if I did put the idea into your brain.

The Cat Returns

Not too long ago (or maybe it was Christmas time), I got the Studio Ghibli box set. I will admit that it is anime, but is the completely, not strange or creepy anime. It's one of the well made, life lesson kind of movies. Even if you don't like anime, I HIGHLY recommend watching them. Besides the point, the Cat Returns was one of the movies within that box set and allow me to say that movie has literally changed my life. Epiphany, smoke-clearing, Magical Mystery Tour, holy crap where have you been all my life, kind of life changing. Before I lose you, let me tell you what it's about (brace yourselves); the main character is the typical "outcast," doesn't fit in kind of teenager. One day she finds a cat in the middle of the road who is about to get hit by a car, and she ends up running out into the road to save the cat. It turns out that cat is the Cat Prince of the Cat Kingdom in part of the Cat World. They walk on their hind legs and even talk. Since she saved the Cat Prince, all the subjects who live in the Cat World give her cat related presents such as dead mice to eat, cattails, and catnip. She finds a cat and tells them she doesn't really like the presents, and the cat decides that she should go to the Cat World to talk to think Prince and King about it, but accidentally slips in that she is to marry the Cat Prince. Since she's a human an doesn't want to be married to a cat, she decides to go to the Cat World to try to change their minds. When she gets there though, she discovers that the Cat King is a dictator and the cats that live there are basically prisoners. She befriends some "rebel" cats against the cause to help her escape. Along the way she starts turning into a cat and begins to lose faith and thinks that maybe marring a cat wouldn't be so bad. Her friends help get that thought out of her head as they try to escape. The Cat King doesn't want them to leave, and unleashes ninja cats and cat assassins to get her, while he is surrounded by his cat CIA crew. They almost escape when the Cat Prince shows up and says he has no idea about the wedding and they find out that the King just wanted to marry her. They end up banding together and defeating the King, escaping back into the real world, and the main character is human again. In the end though, she ends up falling in love with one of the cats she befriended and doesn't go on a date with her old human crush. Pretty much the best thing of my life. Kudos to you, Hayao Miyazak, you have changed my life.

Letters of Recommendation

Let me be the first to say, I absolutely adore getting letters of recommendation. They make me feel so incredibly good about myself that I can't help but smile. Heck, if you're having a bad day, just go read a letter of recommendation you got because you are one awesome individual. It may be because I am having a good day, but that doesn't really matter because I got a letter of recommendation today too. They really encompass all your achievements and highlight everything you've done correctly. You seriously look like flippin' Superman because of those things, and let me tell you, that is a good feeling. People always look at me crazy when I get them because all I do is keep reading them over and over again just to remember how great I am. Conceited? Nah, the adults wrote that for ME, so it's gotta be true. Goodbye last semester blues, hello letters of recommendation!

P.S. If there are any teachers out there that haven't written letters of recommendations and are supposed to be doing so instead of reading my oh so intriguing blog post, I highly suggest you do so. You may just make that student's day, and I'm not even exaggerating that much (but hey, that's kinda my thing).

Earnest essay

My Importance of Being Earnest essay:

In his play, “The Importance of Being Earnest,” Oscar Wilde uses satire to emphasize the ridiculous nature of Victorian Society, and the mindset of the people who lived within that time period. In the first act of the play, Wilde opens the play by describing how prim and proper everything had to be, even if the people didn’t like doing that. They had to have cucumber sandwiches and music playing in the background and tea. The people however, seemed to talk sweetly and properly on the surface, but once you actually understand what they are saying, then you begin to understand how rude they were actually being. For instance, Lady Bracknell continually criticizes Jack for “losing both of his parents” and being “careless” because he lost both instead of just one.

                In the second act, Gwendolyn and Cecily, both thinking they are engaged to a man names Ernest, end up getting in a fight over who is actually engaged to him. They insult each other in the most proper of ways, like when Gwendolyn gives Cecily sugar in her tea and a cupcake instead of bread when she asks for no sugar and for bread. They insult each other, even though their fiancés are the ones to blame, considering they are the ones who lied. On the outside, one would think they were being so polite to each other, as Victorian Society was during that time.

                In the third and final act, the satirical conversations between the characters is even more noticeable. For example, when Mrs. Prism remembers accidentally losing a baby and her handbag, and Jack was a lost baby in a handbag. Anyone who is reading this play can only laugh and how strange it is, and how seemingly obvious all these connections are that the characters don’t seem to be grasping. The satire is excessive throughout the entirety of the play, exemplifying how ridiculous the Victorian Period really was.

Graduation Speech

Friday the 13th, how lucky. Out of all the days of the year, we had to graduate on Friday the 13th. Hold onto your hats and look out for black cats ladies and gentlemen, because the class of 2014 is graduation on one of the most feared days. For good reason too, I mean who wouldn’t be afraid that this batch of people is being released into the world on their own? Whether you are afraid for what comes next, or ready to take it head-on, sad because you most likely won’t ever see these people again, or happy for what lies ahead, this unlucky day is finally here.
Just think about it; around fourteen years of your life has been leading up to this day, this moment in your life, and it snuck up on you with not so much as a whisper. Yesterday was just a day, and tomorrow is just another day, but today, this day, right here, right now, is our day. No matter what anyone else says, it is our day. So go ahead and ask your parents for that new car and drive as fast as you can. Actually, maybe not, because it is Friday the 13th. Even if you don’t get that new car, or that new pair of $200 shoes, or whatever you happened to ask for, just think about how lucky you are anyways. Think of all the people out there who couldn’t have a family member here for some reason, whatever it may be. Think of all the people out there who don’t even have a family, all the people who don’t even have a house. Don’t sit there and complain and mope that you didn’t get exactly what you wanted, because at least you got something, right? You woke up this morning, this ever so unlucky morning, with a roof over your head, and a beating heart, so what is the problem? What’s holding you back from changing the world? You are completely lucky in everything you have, even graduating on Friday the 13th. So get ready for the rest of forever, because after today, it begins. You can so whatever you want, and basically no one will care. So show them that they should, and make them look at all you have to offer. Make them look at the extraordinarily lucky pot of gold you were handed when you were born, and then share it amongst everyone so everyone can have a little bit of luck. Remember to share, remember to smile, and remember to hug your grandparents before you leave. Most importantly, remember not to break a mirror or walk under a ladder because hey, that sounds dangerous in itself, whether it’s Friday the 13th or not.

Scholarship Essay

All my life I’ve known that I love plants and animals. Ever since I was a kid, I always played with all types of insects, bugs, and every pet any of my friends had. Whenever I would play with them though, I was always extraordinarily curious about why they looked the way they did, how they got that way, and what differences it made. That’s why when high school was about to start, I leaned toward the Academy of Arts, Careers, and Technology; they had seven different academies that had their own special classes that would pertain specifically to the academy you chose. For example, I chose the Natural Resources and Animal Science academy, and got to take classes such as Agricultural Science, Biotechnology, Natural Resources, and Veterinary Medicine, just to name a few. This got me even more excited and specific on what career path I wished to pursue, currently being in Bio-engineering, or Pathology. Not only does my interesting in plants and animals help with this, but I always was interested in how diseases and viruses work, spread, and are built. I am also a very artistic person, and like to spend my free time painting, drawing, or doing crafts, which allows for me to have more creative and innovative ways to solve things, helps me work with a greater accuracy and precision, and helps build my patience when I work on long and tedious projects. Moreover, I’ve always had a great curiosity for science and love all the room there still is for discoveries and new advances. Whether I become a Bio-engineer, or a Pathologist, my education and past has been an influential part of whom I am and who I hope to become.

Sponges don't speak unless spoken to.

Today in class we watched "Shake the Dust" by Anis Mojgani. Let me say that this class is ruining poetry for me (sorry Burge), but I really seem to enjoy watching the writers speak their poems. It gives them a whole new depth and meaning to me (ironically). Let me also say that Anis Mojgani really is growing on me, and it's not just because he's in the weird name club too or because he has crazy hair and a crazy beard. What really stayed with me from this poem though, was when he said "[This is] for the ones who are told to speak only when you are spoken to and then are never spoken to." I believe that this line accurately describes me. I don't feel the need to talk all the time, if even often at all. It also reminds of a quote I once read that goes something like "only speak if what you have to say is more beautiful than the silence." I absolutely love this quote because aside from the insanity I find in it, I think silence is beautiful. Ironically, most of my friends and family like to talk just to hear themselves talk, think sitting in silence is boring, and rarely ever say anything worth remembering. I, on the other hand, rarely ever speak and tend to keep it relatively short and blunt. I say what I mean when people ask for it, and don't say anything otherwise. Perhaps that's why I blend in so well, yet seem to stand out at the same time. Perhaps that's why people think I'm stupid, yet always come to me with their questions and in need of help. Maybe people like talking at me so much because I'm an absorber. I absorb and analyze everything that's going on in a situation, and pick up all the minute details. Maybe that's why everyone thinks I'm insane when I remember everything yet never seem to have ever been there in the first place.